Yesterday was the last day of a much-needed vacation.  I spent the entire week enjoying LA with my girlfriend and daughter.  Yesterday we went to a water park and as we were leaving I received a phone call from my brother-in-law.  In his lawyer tone of voice he told me that I received a rejection letter from West LA College.  Earlier this summer I had applied to a full-time tenure track film professor position.  I thanked him for informing me and then went on with my day completely unscathed. 

Rejection and ambition go together hand-in-hand.  You can’t have one without the other.   Since I have my hand in so many things I probably deal with rejection more than anyone else in the known universe.  I learned very early in my life that rejection isn’t something one should fear or be ashamed about, but represents a step towards a goal. 

Your goal, whether it’s the career you’ve always dreamed of, or if it’s the girl that’s way out of your league, is something that you go for.  It’s common to feel nervous and make excuses to the many reasons why you shouldn’t pursue it, but like J. Michael Straczynski said, “you can’t listen to the tyranny of rational voices.”  You have to summon up the courage and go for it, and if it doesn’t go the way you planned at least you know that you tried your best.   

Documentary filmmaker Jay Grewall once asked me why do I fight.  My answer to him was I always try my hand at everything I’m passionate about because my worst nightmare is to be old man in my rocking chair many years from now, think back on my life, and ask“what if?” 

That fear is what has driven me to take advantages of the chances and the opportunities that have been presented in front of me without any fear of rejection.  Outside of just your craft as a writer, another trait that will put you in front of the soup line of hungry mouths begging for work is your perseverance.  You have to know that a big part of getting your work to the right hands is strictly a numbers game.  The more people you send your query letters to, the more rejection letters you’ll receive.  That’s a good thing because at least now these people know who you are.  Remember that no matter how many tons of rejection letters you receive, all it takes is that once acceptance letter to put you where you want to be, but you can’t have acceptance without risk of rejection. 

So here I am now at this crossroad in my life.  I am writing this article as I am about to go to the first class I have attended since I graduated college in 2006. 

For years I have played with the idea of grad school but I used the momentum and positive energy from my last script sale to finally dedicate myself to the idea.  I have signed up for a class to prepare me for the acceptance (GRE) test I have to take to apply to grad school.  There are a lot of uncertainties on the horizon.  I’m pretty sure I’ll received rejection letters galore from the universities I apply to but that’s fine by me. 

Each rejection letter is an attempt at a goal that I long for, and I'd rather receive a billion rejection letters knowing that I’ve tried my best than receive zero rejection letters as I sit on my computer desk wondering “what if?”

Victor Phan

Torture Chamber Productions

August 7, 2010