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Monday, 07 November 2011 08:59

Once Upon A Time / Grimm

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 jennifer morrisonThe thing is, I'd watch Jennifer Morrison ("House, M.D.") recite the phone book.  So although I wasn't that interested in "Once Upon A Time" I wanted to see what Ms Morrison was up to after her amazing turn as Dr. Allison Cameron. 

The premise:  The characters from film and fairy tale are real.  They've been cursed by the evil queen (Lana Parrilla) and all their happy endings have been cancelled.  If this is familiar then you've probably seen the film "Enchanted," another Disney offering which was a *lot* more fun and charming and at least tried to remain consistent.

Given this premise, I'd probably be okay with this show but the creators made things even more confusing.  Follow (if you can) - 

  • Jennifer Morrison's character is actually the 28-yr-old daughter of Snow White (Ginnifer Goodwin) who was married to Prince Charming in fairy-tale-land.  In order to save her from the Evil Queen's clutches, they put her into a magic tree closet (carved by Pinocchio's father, Geppetto.)  
  • logoThe newborn child (princess Jennifer) is magically transported to our world, found by the roadside, put into foster care and grows up to become a private investigator.  (Yeah, logic and consistency isn't a real strong point in any of this but it shouldn't be expected, I guess.)
  • A 10-yr-old kid (a terrific actor named Jared Gilmore) goes to find the aforementioned 28-yr-old princess-investigator so he can bring her back to save Storyland, the village/town where he was raised.  All the inhabitants are apparently miserable because they are actually fairy tale characters who don't know they are fairy tale characters and they need the princess to awaken them or break the curse or something to bring back their happy endings.  I can't wait for the porn version of this premise.
  • Of course, the kid is in therapy (with the human version of Jimminey Cricket,) because no one (including his biological mom - Jennifer Morrison) believes him and it's never explained how he knows *for certain* that any of this is true but of course it is.  
  • His teacher who helps him to go down this odd path is actually Ginnfer Goodwin - who would actually be his grandmother but she looks even younger than his mother (Jennifer Morrison.)  Of course, she doesn't know he's her grandson and for some reason the kid doesn't seem to know that he's her grandson.
  • Take a  breath now because you'll need the oxygen to continue to keep a clear head...
  • Ready?  
  • Okay - all this has all been prophesied by the evil and bizarre Rumpelstiltskin character in the fary tale land  so of course in our world he manifests as the owner of the town in the "real world" - not the wicked Queen who you would have assumed would be the owner - she's only the mayor.  So Rumple is the actual owner of the entire town and he goes 'round to "Grandma's House" (a hotel) to physically collect the rents.
  • I guess all the evil characters know who they are because they're always arching their eyebrows.  Why they know and no one else does isn't exlained and probably isn't really important.
  • And guess what else (do you care at this point - I didn't?) - the kid who goes to find the princess (Jennifer Morrison) is actually her given-up-for-adoption son.

Huh, you say?  I can hear you now:  When you put it like that, Mark, it sounds really stupid.  

Yeah, it does.  It is.

I could go on but what's the point?  The storyline is a hot mess.  Nothing makes sense, follows any sort of rules, or ties together except in the most egregious, silly and dumbfoundingly aggravating once upon a time ways...

For example, when Morrison's pubescent son shows up on her doorstep - literally - she has one moment of "oh sh*t" and that's pretty much it for the rest of the ep.  You'd think the emotional impact would mess her up and really take her off her game.  But no, she just packs the kid in a car and takes him back to his mother (the evil queen.)

I wish they had just thought this through a bit.  It honestly isn't as bad as I would have thought because the cast is all terrific and find ways to make the horrible material work at times.  

The main problem is, I don't care about any of these characters - at all - and can't think of a reason to follow them because none of them is reacting the way you'd expect even given the wild premise.  Television rises and falls on its characters - these are all, well, like they're from a (bad) fairy tale.

"Once Upon A Time" airs on Sundays on ABC, a Disney affiliate.

grimm"Grimm" is a completely different approach to a similar theme.  Grimms Fairy Tales are real (sound familiar?)  Grimms are a family, similar to the Van Helsings (who hunt vampires) but Grimms hunt a lot of different creatures.

The main character, actor David Giuntoli - who I think must have auditioned for the role of Superman at some point in his career - is the current legacy of a long line of creature hunters.  In the opening, the Grimm aunt, who is dying from cancer, comes to her nephew to tell him he's going to be the next in line when she's gone.  

She's got this Airstream trailer filled with weapons of mayhem - no guns though, oddly enough, just a lot of axes and knives.  Since there doesn't seem to be any reason NOT to use guns (he does when he kills one of them) it's bizarre that she doesn't.  But that's just one inconsistency here.  Back to the storyline.

Of course, Giuntoli  doesn't know anything about this stuff (even though this is the aunt who raised him and apparently has knife cut scars everywhere on her body according to a nurse who cares for her) and he is justifiably confused by the pronouncement and the subsequent visions of ordinary people who morph into monsters.

That's a problem because these creatures look like us and only manifest when they're put under stress.  Like the werewolf-type who is murdering and eating young women with red hoodies - get it?  Little Red Riding Hood, Big Bad Wolf...?  

Ugh and sigh...

David Giuntoli Yeah, there's some really dumb stuff in this but I have to say that this little piece of freak show had me jumping once or twice.  

Truly, this is not for kids - it's pretty brutal.  The big bad wolf kidnaps a little girl - like 10-yrs-old - and hides her in a basement bedroom.  He offers her a chicken pot pie (to fatten her up.)  But this is an odd bit of implied pedophelia that is horribly squirm-inducing and one wonders, necessary?  And there's also the dismembered body parts and the violent, bloody fights to deal with...so take the "14" rating to heart of you have young ones.

This creeped out viloence is oddly coupled with some humorous moments that I won't spoil for you but when I say odd, I do mean odd.  How you imply that this missing little girl is about to suffer a fate beyond horrible while the main character is drinking a Heineken with one of the "good" werewolves is beyond me.  And this sensibility is pretty much beyond the powers of even the legendary producers/creators (Jim Kouf and David Greenwalt) it seems because it diffuses the tension and is inserted in a strange place in the story.  In other words, it just doesn't work because although there should be some humor in this the writers need to pick their spots a lot better.  A terrorized little girl on a clock to a horrible death is NOT that time.

Perhaps this would have all worked better if the creators had spent a bit more time with the logicsceen from grimm behind the story.  Yeah, I know it's fantasy but fantasy still requires rules.  It's always curious to me that these legacy-type scenarios don't involve some sort of logical backstory to explain things.  Why do the Grimms have to wait for the "hunter" to die before they find their powers?  Why are there so many monsters and only one Grimm?  And why isn't there more mayhem in the world if there's only one Grimm - and given this, why would he or she assume they can any impact on the mayhem?   We need some of these fundamentals 'splained to us.

Perhaps some of this is coming but the upshot is the characters don't seem to reacting correctly given the gaping holes in the logic of the storyline and so again, who cares?  

"Grimm" is written by one of my heros, Jim Kouf, and it does have potential.  I'm not sure it will find the audience it's seeking because I'm not sure where they're skewing.  It's too rough for kids, not hip enough for teens, and a bit silly for adults.  Given the cinema-star good looks of the main character and the material, perhaps they're going after a young, female teen audience.  Dunno.

I'll watch it for another few eps and see if they can find the voice they seem to be seeking. but although "Grimm" started off with a bang in the first ten minutes, the longer the storyline ran the sillier it became.  Not a good sign.

Grimm haunts Friday nights on NBC.

Read 1835 times Last modified on Wednesday, 05 August 2015 16:16
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Mark Sevi

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